Section IV: How Can I Get Better? In this section of the workbook, you can learn how your thoughts, feelings, and actions can be changed. By changing how you think, feel, and act in different situations, you can change your life. This will require you to be as honest as you can and not give up when you get discouraged. Exercise No. 16: Warning Sign Management Strategy Purpose. This exercise will help you to learn how to stop your past warning signs from happening again. This will help you to see problems you may have and how you can change them. Instructions. Make three copies of this worksheet. Write the title of each of the three critical warning signs from Exercise No. 15 on each of the worksheets. Imagine a time in the future when this critical warning sign might happen again. Imagine handling this warning sign the way you used to. Then imagine handling it in a new way. Follow the directions and answer the questions below about your new way of handling the critical warning sign. Do not hesitate to ask other people for their ideas. Do the exercise for each of the three critical warning signs. Critical Warning Sign No. _________ Summary Title of the Warning Sign _______________________________________ 1. Strategy List: What are three ways of handling the critical warning sign that might work better in the future? A. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 2. Which Strategy: Which strategy is most likely to work? [ ] A [ ] B [ ] C Why did you choose this one? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. What are the steps that you can take to make this strategy work? What do you have to do first, second, and so on? A. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 4. Mental Rehearsal: Try to act this strategy out in your head. A. What problems did you have when you tried to imagine doing this? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. What went right? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. What changes do you have to make in order to make this strategy work? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Exercise No. 17: Identifying High-Risk Situations Purpose. This exercise will help you see the kinds of things that trigger your warning signs. These are called high-risk situations. By knowing what these high-risk situations are, you can learn to avoid them or handle them better. Instructions. Reread Exercise No. 14—Final Warning Sign List. Write down the high-risk situation that triggers your warning signs. This should be your first warning sign. 1. High-Risk Situation: ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 2. Think about times in the past when your final list of warning signs was triggered. Describe different high-risk situations that caused this. Describe what was going on and how you thought, felt, and acted. A. High-Risk Situation: ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. High-Risk Situation: ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. High-Risk Situation: ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ D. High-Risk Situation: ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. Combined High-Risk Situations. List below anything that happens in more than one of your high-risk situations. A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ F. ________________________________________ G. ________________________________________ 4. Go back to Exercise No. 7—Life History Summary. Copy sections 9, 10, 11, and 12 below. (9) The three main things I used to believe alcohol or drugs would help me do or become in my life are . . . . ________________________________________ A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ (10) The three main thoughts about myself and others that I have used alcohol or drugs to cope with are . . . C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ (11) The three main feelings that I have used alcohol or drugs to cope with are . . . F. ________________________________________ G. ________________________________________ H. ________________________________________ (12) The three main problems or situations that I used alcohol or drugs to cope with are . . . I. ________________________________________ J. ________________________________________ K. ________________________________________ 5. Critical High-Risk Situations: Are any of the above problems or situations (9, 10, 11, or 12) similar to the combined high-risk situations you listed in no. 3? If they are, write them below and give each one a short title (summary title) that will help you to remember it. 0. A. Critical High-Risk Situation ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Summary Title ________________________________________ 1. Critical High-Risk Situation ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Summary Title ________________________________________ 2. Critical High-Risk Situation ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Summary Title ________________________________________ 3. D. Critical High-Risk Situation ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Summary Title ________________________________________ Exercise No. 18: Identification of Core Beliefs Purpose. This exercise will help you to understand why you react to the high-risk situation the way you do. Usually this is because you believe things are a certain way when they really are not. You must be willing to consider that the way you believe things are might be wrong. Instructions. Make four copies of this exercise. Take each of the critical high-risk situations from Exercise No. 17, part 5, and list it on one of these worksheets. Answer the following questions and follow the directions about each one. 1. Summary Title of Critical High-Risk Situation ________________________________________ 2. Critical High-Risk Situation ____________. Describe how this situation happened in the past. Include your thoughts, feelings, and actions. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. Read the description you wrote above. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and try to picture yourself there. Say the following sentence over and over, and write a new ending each time: "When I am in this situation I believe . . ." A. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ F. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ G. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ H. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ I. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ J. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Exercise No. 19: Combined Mistaken Belief List Purpose. We operate on a number of Core Beliefs. Sometimes these beliefs are true, but we do not know how to deal with what they tell us. Sometimes we learn things that are not true. These are called Mistaken Beliefs. We act as if they are true even though they cause us pain and stop us from changing our lives. These mistaken beliefs can cause us to do things and feel things that will cause us to drink, use drugs, or break the law again. All core beliefs appear in the form of thoughts that are either mandates or injunctions. Mandates are thoughts that usually begin with "I must." Injunctions are thoughts that usually begin with "I can't." We believe something bad will happen unless we follow our mandates and injunctions. Examples of Mandates and Injunctions Mandate: I must always be in control and not show others when I am afraid. Injunction: I can't cry or people will think I am weak. Instructions. Read the list of endings to the sentence, "When I am in this situation I believe . . ." in Exercise No. 18, part 3, for each of the four worksheets. Circle any endings that begin, "I must" or "I have to." List them below on the Mandate List. Write any that are similar only once. Put a square around any endings that begin, "I can't" or "I won't." List them below on the Injunction List. Write only once any that are similar. 1. Mandate List A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ 2. Injunction List A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ Many times you will have feelings that will cause you to think of the mandate or injunction. What you have learned about these thoughts and feelings usually determines how you will act. Instructions. Take the list of mandates and injunctions from this exercise to someone whom you respect and believe to be honest. Look for someone who has been sober, clean, and out of trouble for a long period. This could be a counselor, someone in AA or NA, or an acquaintance. Ask the person if he or she thinks these mandates and injunctions are true. If the person does not think the mandates and injunctions are true, circle them. If you have a belief that is true and is causing pain for you, write down how you are dealing with it. Ask people whom you trust how they deal with this situation to make it work for them. Exercise No. 20: Challenging Mandates and Injunctions Purpose. This exercise will help you to understand your mandates and injunctions and make choices about how you want them to affect you in the future. Instructions. Fill out this page and the following worksheets about your mandates and injunctions by using the information from Exercise No. 19. 1. List the mandates you think might be false after talking with other people about them. A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ 2. List the injunctions you think might be false after talking with other people about them. A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ 3. List the mandates and injunctions you believe might be true after talking with other people about them, even though the way you handle them doesn't work. A. ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ D. ________________________________________ E. ________________________________________ Exercise No. 21: Challenging Mandates Purpose. This exercise will help you to understand why you continue to think and feel the way you do. It will also help you change these thoughts and feelings. Complete as much of the worksheet as you can. Instructions. Make five copies of this exercise. Go back to each of the mandates from Exercise No. 20, part 1. Complete the following statement and answer the questions about the statement: 1. Mandate __________: I Must ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Or else (What do you believe will happen?) ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 2. Challenging the Mandate: A. Who taught you that you must do this? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. Is it possible you were taught wrong? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. Do you believe the mandate is [ ] True or [ ] False? D. If it is false, what might be the truth? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Based on this truth, another way I can think is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ E. The feelings that I have when I think this way are ________________________________________ ________________________________________ If I change the way I think, I will feel ________________________________________ ________________________________________ F. When I think this way, I want to ________________________________________ ________________________________________ What I could do instead is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. If I continue to think, feel, and act the way I did in the past, what is . . . 1. The best that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 2. The worst that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. Most likely to happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 4. If I change the way I think, feel, and act, what is . . . . The best that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ A. The worst that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. Most likely to happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Exercise No. 22: Challenging Injunctions Purpose. This exercise will help you to understand why you think and feel the way you do and how you can change these thoughts and feelings. Complete as much of the worksheet as you can. Instructions. Make five copies of this exercise. For each of the injunctions listed in Exercise No. 20, part 2, complete the statements below: 1. Injunction __________: I Must ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Or else (What do you believe will happen?) ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 2. Challenging the Injunction: A. Who taught you that you must do this? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. Is it possible you were taught wrong? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. Do you believe the Injunction is [ ] True or [ ] False? D. If it is false, what might be the truth? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Based on this truth, another way I can think is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ E. The feelings that I have when I think this way are ________________________________________ ________________________________________ If I change the way I think, I will feel ________________________________________ ________________________________________ F. When I think this way, I want to ________________________________________ ________________________________________ What I could do instead is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. If I continue to think, feel, and act the way I did in the past, what is . . . A. The best that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. The worst that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. Most likely to happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 4. If I change the way I think, feel, and act, what is . . . A. The best that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. The worst that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. Most likely to happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Exercise No. 23: Improved Reactions to Mandates and Injunctions Purpose. This exercise will help you find new ways to react to the mandates and injunctions that are true. Instructions. Make five copies of this exercise. For each of the mandates and injunctions listed in Exercise No. 20, part 3, complete the statements and answer the questions below. 1. Mandate or Injunction _________ A. A. I Must or Can't ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Or else (What do you believe will happen?) ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Another way I can think is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. The feelings that I have when I think this way are ________________________________________ ________________________________________ If I change the way I think, I will feel ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. When I think this way, I want to ________________________________________ ________________________________________ What I could do instead is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 2. If you continue to think, feel, and act the way you have in the past, what is . . . A. The best that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. The worst that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. The most likely to happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. If you change the way you think, feel, and act, what is . . . A. The best that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. The worst that can happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. The most likely to happen? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Exercise No. 24: Management of High-Risk Situation Purpose. Make four copies of this exercise. The exercise will help you pull together all of the things you have learned. You will have a better chance at recovery if you use everything you learn. Instructions. Use one worksheet in this exercise for each of the four Critical High-Risk Situations in Exercise No. 17, part 5. Answer the following questions. 1. Summary title of critical high-risk situation ________ ________________________________________ 2. Describe the critical high-risk situation. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 3. Describe three ways you can avoid this critical high-risk situation without avoiding responsibility. A. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 4. List three ways that you could handle the situation differently if you cannot avoid it. A. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ B. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ C. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 5. Read the mandates from the worksheets in Exercise No. 21. List the one that happens most often when you are in this critical high-risk situation. Then write down a different way that you could think instead. A. Mandate ________________________________________ A different way to think is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 6. Read the injunctions from the worksheets in Exercise No. 22. List the one that happens most often when you are in this critical high-risk situation. Then write down a different way that you could think instead. A. Injunction ________________________________________ A different way to think is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 7. Read the mandates and injunctions from the worksheets in exercises no. 21 and 22. List the one that happens most often when you are in this critical high-risk situation. Then write down a different way that you could act instead. A. Mandate/Injunction ________________________________________ A different way to think is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ 8. Read the worksheets for Exercise No. 16 again. List the summary titles of the critical warning signs that happen because of this critical high-risk situation. Describe how the critical warning signs happen to you. Then describe what you will do differently in the future to prevent the warning signs from getting worse. A. Summary Title No. 1 ________________________________________ B. Summary Title No. 2 ________________________________________ C. Summary Title No. 3 ________________________________________ D. The way these critical warning signs happen to me is ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ E. What I will do in the future to prevent the warning signs from getting worse is __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ |
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